Remember, there are two people involved in a dating relationship—and I’m talking about you and this new person, not you and your ex.
Dating someone new only to get to your ex else is fundamentally unfair.
That could mean you’ve weathered the emotional storm that accompanies divorce, processed what went wrong with your marriage, learned what you could, and are now ready to take all of your newfound wisdom and start fresh.
OR it could mean that you’re looking to date as a distraction in order to keep from having to do that really hard work. Figuring this out is a personal exercise—no one can do this for you.
My last date before I got married was at a time when people didn’t have computers or smart phones. Only doctors had mobile phones and they were as big as a shoe box! And which of the trillions of online dating sites should you use? The first time I saw the commercial for that, I thought it was an skit! When I first got divorced I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to change my furnace filter, change the string on the weed whacker or fix my washing machine when it started leaking all over.
You are perceived as being a challenge to get your time and attention, thus, making you more desirable.
Putting down your ex or rehashing old hurts will only keep you in a negative and depressed state if mind. A leader, however, creates value because he/she has a full life, his time is scarce.
If your goal is to cause your ex jealousy, anger, sadness, pain, or regret, the takeaway is you’re still taken with your ex.
So, save everyone the heartburn and hassle and wait to date until you’ve worked through all of those emotions and you’re really and truly over it. Your divorce is your favorite topic of conversation.